Desperate Housewife No More- 8 Ways To Take Back
Your Life
Marie Roker
Do you feel that you are living someone else’s life? Do you
want to feel good and positive about yourself and your life?
These 8 simple steps will help you to break free of what is
causing distress in your life.
Change Your Approach to Life.
What is controlling your life right now? Are you controlled by
your emotions, by your past experiences, or by your thoughts?
The way you approach life is the way you will live your life.
If you see your life as miserable and a failure, then that is
the way you will live your life. By allowing yourself to grow
in resentment and regret each day, you are cheating yourself of
a quality life. You were not destined to live a life of
uncertainty and emotional distress. Your negative experiences
and disappointing past is what keep you in desperation and
frustration. Start to see things as getting better rather than
getting worse. Start each day with a clean slate and with the
determination to be at your best. Think about what’s possible,
not what’s implausible. Stop complaining about what isn’t right
in your life and start to embrace what is good in your life.
Don’t look back at what you have missed out on and what you
have lost; think about all you have to gain. Anticipate the
best for your life, be clear on what you want in your life, and
then start to create life changing strategies. It’s not easy to
change your approach; it takes time and commitment to living a
better life. On useful way to change your approach is to not
put any expectations on the day and to incorporate a bright
attitude in your day.
Be Responsible for Your Own Happiness
No one has the power to make you happy. You are responsible for
your own happiness. Not your spouse, significant other,
children, parents, therapists, life coach, friends, lover, job,
career, business, etc. Your happiness depends on your beliefs
and attitudes. You can’t change the past or predict the future,
so be content with what you have today. Happiness feeds your
spirits and helps you regain your passion for life. It is up to
you to make the strides towards your happiness. If you are
constantly dealing with difficult people, develop a plan that
will help you keep your sanity when dealing with them. By
living in sadness and depression, you are giving away your
powers and letting someone or something else control you. If
you find that your interactions with certain people control
your mood, and then make the decision to control whether or not
you will be affected by them. You are in control of your
thoughts and emotions. If you are blaming others for your state
of unhappiness, ask yourself how are contributing to the problem
too? Make a list of 25 things you can be happy about right now.
Look over your list whenever you feel yourself giving in to
self pity or sadness.
3. Let People Know How You Want to Be Treated
Don’t expect your friends, family and colleague to know what
you want. If you have needs that aren’t being met, you must
clearly communicate what you want. You have to let people know
what is acceptable and what is not acceptable you. Be firm with
your boundaries and let people know when they have crossed the
line. Don’t assume because you wouldn’t do something to
someone, that they wouldn’t do it to you. When dealing with
strong personalities, let them know in an assertive manner what
is not acceptable to you. If you continue to let people
disrespect you, then they will just assume that it is
acceptable. Be honest with people about how their behavior
makes you feel. Don’t look for them to change right away, but
at least by telling them you are giving the message that you
have self-respect.
Stop Putting Up With People and Situations that You Have
Outgrown.
What are you still tolerating that no longer works for you? Why
are you still putting up with it? Tolerations can become old
reliable friends once we’ve had them for awhile. Although you
know that you need to make changes, you avoid doing so because
you are so comfortable with the toleration. Getting rid of
tolerations requires you to be honest with yourself about what
isn’t working in your life and then you have to make the
decision whether to change it or live with it. But what will it
cost you in the long run? After some time, this toleration will
drain your energy and sap your enthusiasm for life. If you have
been desensitizing yourself from what you are allowing in your
life, you will deprive yourself of a fulfilling life. Take some
time to write down what you are putting up with and create a
plan to change it.
Stop Attracting Drama into Your Life
Do bad things seem to always happen to you? Do you attract
unstable or difficult people and situations? Yes, we all face
problems in life, but if this is consistent t for you, maybe
it’s time to look at what you are subconsciously attracting to
yourself. If you don’t feel right unless there is some crisis
or unforeseen circumstance in your life, maybe it’s time to
shift your focus. You will always have these situations in your
life if you are always thinking, worrying or talking about them.
Learn to trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right
to you, then don’t do it. If you are being pressured or coerced
into an uncomfortable situation, stand firm and decline making
any major decisions.
Set Realistic Expectations
If your husband or significant husband is not romantic, then
don’t expect him to do something outrageously romantic on your
birthday. If you place unrealistic expectations on people or
situations, you set yourself up for disappointment. Be real
about what people can and can not do. Don’t expect people to
live up to your dreams of what they should be like. Don’t
expect more than people can deliver. If you have idealized
expectations on what your life should be like, you may be
dissatisfied in the actual results.
Maintain Your Individuality
Are you giving up so much of yourself that you don’t even know
your true self anymore? If you are living someone else’s idea
life, then you are not living a self actualized life. You can
not make people accept or love you based on who they want you
to be. You must be yourself at all times. What is great about
you? What are your strengths, your natural gifts? The things
that make you who you are can sometimes conflict with other
people’s expectations. Building your self awareness and knowing
your self worth helps you to avoid the pitfall of losing your
individuality. You don’t want to look back on your life with
regret or resentment because you gave up yourself for someone
else. Don’t make sacrifices that will compromise your
individuality. Do what you love to do, find what you are
passionate about and live your life with enthusiasm.
Get Help When You Need It
It’s so much easier to live in denial than to admit that you
need help. Sometimes life can seem overbearing and repeated
setbacks can lead to sadness, anxiety and depression.
Depression is a debilitating disease that progresses slowly and
grows worse with time. There is a difference between feeling
blue occasionally and not having any energy to do the simple
things in life. This is when you need to make the decision to
get help. Your situation will not get any better by not doing
anything about it. Realize that you have a serious problem and
seek help. Don’t try to handle it by yourself or make it go
away.
About The Author: Marie Magdala Roker is a Personal Development
Coach and Author of Successful Thinking for a Successful Life:
How to Banish the Unhealthy Thoughts and Habits That Limit Your
Success. Visit her online at http://www.thinkandbesuccessful.com
Check out her Desperate Housewife No More group coaching programs
for women at
http://www.smartbeecoaching.com
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