Get Negativity Out Of Your Life!
Doug Harvey
They say that the way to have a positive attitude and a
positive life is to surround yourself only with positive things
and positive people. What do you do then, when the negative
influence in your life comes from your friend, maybe your best
friend, or even worse, your spouse? If you are to take the
positive advice literally, you are going to dump them! We both
know that such advice simply is not acceptable. So what DO you
do?
Firstly, have you considered the fact that subconsciously if
not consciously, such people could be afraid? Afraid that you
might be growing beyond them and leaving them behind? Afraid
that your success may diminish their own achievements or their
feelings of self-worth? All these fears and more are quite
possible and mentioned here that you may consider a different
viewpoint. In the ideal world, you convert negative thinkers to
your positive way of thinking. Unfortunately we do not live in
an ideal world and we would not want to force everyone to think
in the same way as you and I.
What you do is simply this: Take the positive step of accepting
them for who they are - your friend, your spouse.
We All Have The Right To Choose!
We all have the right to choose. No-one can take that away
from us. It is no different for those who are close to us. We
may not like their attitude or way of thinking. We may even
consider them to be completely wrong or out of order, but that
doesn't change a thing. Okay, so let's say we do that. Where
does that leave us? We still have those negative vibes coming
through. We have already come to the conclusion that we can't
change the person, so the only person left is ourselves.
When the negative shots are fired at us, what do we find
ourselves focusing on? The negative projectiles fired at us.
Right? If we accept that we cannot change the person, then we
are left with changing our thinking. That means how we think
and what we focus on.The way we feel after receiving negative
input, is no more than a reaction. Control your reaction and
win.
Expectations.
When you have a new venture, an idea, a piece of personal
excitement that you want to share, you expect a particular kind
of reaction and are quite disappointed when it isn't
forthcoming. Notice what happens when you reverse the
approach. I.e. When you have no expectations whatsoever!
Suddenly, even the tiniest positive return is a huge bonus! If
you don't get any, then it ceases to matter because you weren't
expecting any anyway! So, instead of focussing on the negative,
focus on the good.
Focus On The Good!
To some extent you need to be single-minded, focussing on your
goal rather than theirs at that moment in time. So, if you
haven`t already done so, get your goal firmly fixed in your
mind. Determine how much you really want it, and ask yourself
whether or not you are prepared to pay the price.
Are You Prepared To Pay The Price?
Does that frighten you? Paying the price? It shouldn`t.
Whatever we achieve in this life always requires a price to be
paid. Sometimes it is a financial amount. Other times, it may
simply be time, and so on. Every single day, you are already
"paying the price" on numerous achievements, big and small. In
this particular circumstance, the way in which you pay the price
is to focus entirely on your objective in such a way that
negative comments or influences simply have no leverage.
Believe in yourself sincerely and you will not fail. As I
mentioned previously, many "positive thinking" speakers direct
you to surround yourself with positive people and a positive
environment in order for you to remain positive in all you do.
I have no doubt that if you are able to achieve the building
of such an environment that it works! Picture the scene: You
get out of bed in the morning and the sun is shining, the sky
is blue. If you have a spouse, they greet you with a kiss.
The smiling postman never brings any bills. Everyone on the
way to work drives so happily and considerately. Your boss
holds the door open for you as you enter the air-conditioned
building and you have just the right amount of work to do to
keep you positively charged. You need to do something -.snap
your fingers! Wake up! It just cannot be done to this
extreme. I jest here. I still believe that to keep yourself
surrounded by positive people will work for you, but it is
unlikely that such an environment could be sustained for very
long at all. This would be the ideal world we mentioned. The
fact is however, that we invariably do not live in this kind of
world and somewhere along the way we associate with people who
do not share our values, ideals, excitement. What then? It
could be our friends, our family or worse, our spouse. Do we
go away and quietly curl up in a corner somewhere and forget
about any "wild idea" that we had? No. Of course not. What
would be the point in getting involved with any positive idea
otherwise! No, the key is to mentally consider those you
associate with and determine those who are supportive, forward
thinking and positive.
Get An Injection Of Positivity!
These will be the kind of people who will not blindly say "well
done, go for it", but those who genuinely encourage you to
develop, to move forward, to make something of yourself. Take
a minute û right now. Get out your address book. Go through it
and maybe highlight all those who you know you can count on to
be there for you. Those friends and relatives that care about
you and know you and know about the successes you have had and
are able to offer the encouragement you need. What you do not
need is sympathy. What you do need is an injection of
positivity from those you can count on when you are under
attack. When times get tough, these are your reserve. Let me
tell you how to prepare another reserve. One that you can have
to hand at a moment`s notice. One that when you immerse
yourself in it will give you that positive boost at almost a
moments notice.
Your Positive Energy Booster!
Take a hardback notebook and your most comfortable pen and
start writing. Don`t write about just any old thing, but
concentrate on your achievements. Write about your successes.
Write it so that the pages flow with excitement and enthusiasm
and emotion as you reflect on all that you tackled and won. It
could be major projects, or it could be small tasks that were
major things that you achieved. Keep going. Fill the book if
you feel up to it. Add to the book as often as you are able
and recognize further successes. During those times when you
are not writing in the book, make sure it is readily accessible
and not left on the shelf to gather dust. In those moments
when negativity is thrust at you, take that opportunity to open
up and loose yourself in the pages of your treasure trove of
success. Remind yourself. Relive those experiences seeing
yourself right there. Feel the emotive elation you felt at
that time. This is your positive energy booster that will
thrust you past the negative surge and set you back on your
path to your goals. Still need more? Let`s talk about what
you believe.
Here is something of a deep question for you that I cover in
more depth in another article: Why do you believe what you
believe? Ponder on this question and you will find the answer
to be not so complex as it might sound. You believe what you
believe fundamentally because of your experiences and the
experiences of others in whom you trust. At this moment in
time, you believe that you will at some point receive negative
input from someone who is able to affect you. Why do you
believe that? Simply because it has happened before or because
there has been a similar scenario where the support or positive
input simply has not been there for you. This is a scene you
do not like, but for some reason up until now, you have not
been able to change it. All that is about to change. You are
taking positive control of your life.
A True Story
Have you noticed what happens when you receive unexpected news
that just might have negative repercussions? Suddenly every
negative thought, experience, and even other people`s negative
experiences in such scenarios flashes before you and you
embrace them with loving arms! I recently had personal
experience of this within my extended family. My 19 year old
niece had cause to visit Germany as part of her university
education. Her father took her to the airport and waved her
off. Her normal behaviour was to keep in frequent contact
with her parents to let them know she was okay wherever she
happened to be. Forty-eight hours later, there was no word
from her. Panic and desperation took over.
Suddenly every evil act that was ever inflicted upon a young
girl came to mind for her parents and others around her. The
more time that passed the deeper those impressions took hold.
Great lengths were taken to locate her. She became a name on
the official missing persons list. Many people became part of
what almost might be described as hysteria. Her father
followed the flight path himself and flew to Germany even
though he was not able to speak German in an effort to find
her. After some searching, he found her alive and well. She
simply had not decided it urgent enough to phone home and had
written a letter instead.
Whatever you think of the scenario, look at the known facts.
Very simply, she had flown out and not reported back. In the
end, the reasons were very simple but lack of mental control
took over in a whole range of people who based their actions on
experiences, feelings, and emotions, rather than facts.
Visualization is a powerful tool. If you want to challenge
negativity. If you want to be in control.
Focus on facts rather than fiction.
Other people`s opinions are no more than fiction - their
thoughts, their ideas. Sometimes that`s helpful, but not
always. Focus on success and be the leader. Be the example
and not the blind follower of opinion. Be considerate though
and realize that others are entitled to their opinion and
feelings. Use visualization so that it is a positive tool in
your favour. See your previous successes big and small. See
them in your mind. Focus on them and move on. Everyone has a
right to their opinion, but ours is based on fact. Enjoy
success.
Douglas JG Harvey Life Coach - LifeSight
http://www.lifesight.net
About The Author: Doug is a professional life coach building
self esteem in his clients and specializing in coaching people
through redundancy. This article may be reproduced and
distributed with the condition that this credit is included and
no changes are made. Any queries should be emailed to
doug.harvey@lifesight.net or by visiting
www.lifesight.net
<< ------------- End of Free Reprint Article ---------- >>
Find More Free Articles
See Also:
All Articles About Motivation & Success
Index of All Free Reprint Articles
