But I Bought All The Books And Tapes, And I'm Still
Unhappy!
Lance Beggs
I love this quote by Zig Ziglar, and think it's a perfect
introduction to this article:
"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well,
neither does bathing- that's why we recommend it daily."
The same thing can be said for all the different techniques
that lead to happiness.
Often you will hear people say,
- "I tried affirmations, and they didn't work."
- "I tried NLP, and it didn't work."
- "I tried subliminal programming, and it didn't work."
- "I tried (insert any other technique), and it didn't
work."
Well, the reason is NOT that the techniques are faulty.
Every technique has had some success. And every technique
has had some failures. There is no holy grail, magical
technique, guaranteed to work for everyone. Why is this?
Quite simply, we're all different.
In my search for happiness, I tried many things. Some I can
relate to, others I can't. Some I didn't even try. My
skepticism ruled out subliminal programming, right from the
start. That doesn't mean it won't work for others who are
open to trying it. In fact, some people swear by it.
So don't be stressed if you try something and it's not a
good "fit". Accept we're all different, take the positives
out of the experience, and move on and try something else.
Here are a few pointers though in how to find "what works"
for you:
(1) Firstly, understand that these techniques are not a
direct cause of happiness. If they were, then everyone who
used them would achieve happiness. These techniques are an
indirect cause of happiness, with another step in the
middle.
There is one, and only one, direct cause of happiness. And
that is for you to change your thought process.
Happiness comes from positive thoughts. EVERYONE who
focuses on the positive side of their life, with gratitude
for what they have now, IS HAPPY!
And everyone who focuses on the negatives, and worries
about their future, or lives regretting their past, IS
UNHAPPY.
It's as simple as that.
So what we're looking for is a technique (or bunch of
techniques) that simply help us focus on the positives in
our life, right here and right now. If you try something
and it doesn't effectively focus your thoughts on the
positives, don't worry about it. Find something else that
does.
(2) Make sure you use the technique properly. Some like
meditation take many years to completely master (of course
there are great benefits along the way). Others are quite
simple. Whatever technique you try, research it completely,
and consider seeking a teacher, coach or mentor.
(3) As Zig Ziglar said, use the process continually. You
are aiming to replace any negative thoughts with positives.
Doing it once doesn't guarantee positive thoughts forever,
for the rest of your life. You need to make this a
continual process.
However like riding a bike, or driving a car, with practice
it will become automatic. Your subconscious will take over
much of the process, and you will be well on your way to
the lifetime of happiness that you so richly deserve.
(4) Don't put all your eggs in one basket. What works one
time may not be the best answer next time. My favorite
restaurant at the moment is called Base Camp. It's a
Nepalese Restaurant just down the road from us here in
Melbourne. But that doesn't mean I always eat there when I
go out for dinner. Sometimes we eat Italian. Sometimes we
might feel like Thai.
As I said earlier, I tried many things in my search for
happiness. Some worked for me and some didn't. I found my
answer in a combination of many techniques. I personally
love affirmations. But at other times I get more value out
of EFT. I have a morning routine of manifesting
visualization and meditation. I have an evening (before
bed) routine based around the expression of gratitude.
Find a whole truckload of ways to make you feel happy. And
use them all at the appropriate time.
There is no holy grail, magical technique, guaranteed to
work for everyone. So stop looking for it. Try something.
Use it properly, and consistently. And if you get great
results, keep using it. If you don't get results, move on
to something else.
Lance Beggs.
(c) 2005 Lance Beggs - All Rights reserved
How important is HAPPINESS to you?
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