The Wisdom of Will Rogers
Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935,
was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever
known. Here are some of his quotable gems:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it
back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on
the electric fence.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every
now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Letting the cat outta the bag is awhole lot easier'n putting
it back.
12. AND FINALLY: After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion
felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter
came along and shot him ... The moral: Whenyou're full of bull,
keep your mouth shut.
AND, ABOUT GROWING OLDER............
First, Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start bragging about it.
Second, The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in
line for.
Third, Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I
want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long
way and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth, When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth, You know you are getting old when everything either dries
up or leaks.
Sixth, I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to
the top.
Seventh, One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth, One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day
has been.
Ninth, Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth, Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
And finally, If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't
have anything to laugh at when you are old.
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